Doug

Me and My Snooze Alarm

I had a bit of an epiphany this morning.  I think I’m in an on-again off-again relationship with my snooze alarm.

When the alarm first goes off in the morning, it’s like the first week of a new relationship.  I’m still warm from sleep, the alarm gently wakes me from my slumber.  I look at it and think, “Ah, thanks.  I really glad you’re here for me now.”  Then I take it and move it a little closer.  Kind of like you would on a second or third date.  You get a bit closer at the restaurant.  You are really starting to appreciate your new found friend.

Nine minutes later, here’s the alarm again.  This time it’s not a surprise, but it’s still welcome.  It’s like, “Thanks for that.  I dozed off.  Thanks for checking up on me.  You must really care.”  I might even then take my phone (which is my alarm clock, by the way) and place it on my chest, so that the next time it goes off it will be right there.  At this point, it’s like being in a realationship for a few months.  You’re each getting to know each other better, you’re figuring each other out, seeing patterns, learning habits.  It’s comfortable, nice.

Nine minutes later, the alarm happens again.  This time my greeting isn’t quite as warm.  Got it.  I need to get up.  I know.  Thanks.  We’re past the sixth month point, maybe even going on a year in the relationship.  Some of those “cute” and “quirky” habits are starting to wear thin.  Like when she constatntly has to try a bite of whatever I’m eating, or never finishing a can of soda.  Now, it’s starting to get annoying.

Nine minutes later, alarm.  At this point, we’ve had our first fight.  I get it.  I’m not an idiot.  I know I have to get up.  I know what time I have to be to work.  I know what I need to do to get ready.  Got it!  Ok!  I get it!  Stop yelling at me!

Nine minutes later… At this point, the alarm is no longer my girlfriend… it’s my ex.  I never want to hear from it again, but I knew I would.  I knew that she just couldn’t keep well enough alone.  She just had to call out of the blue to completely ruin a perfectly good day.  I can’t get the alarm far enough away from me.  This isn’t what I signe up for.

And then I get up.  And I realize, yeah, this what I signed up for.  So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?

These are the thoughts that roll through my bean.

 

Recent Headlines

3 days ago in Lifestyle, Trending

Winning ticket for $1 billion Powerball jackpot was sold in Illinois

A Powerball ticket sold at a gas station in western Illinois was the sole winner of the $1 billion jackpot, ending a three-month drought without a top-prize victor.

3 days ago in Entertainment

Film academy to honor Colman Domingo, Charlize Theron and John Carpenter at museum gala

Actors Colman Domingo, Charlize Theron and filmmaker John Carpenter are set to be honored at the Academy Museum Gala this fall. The red carpet for the annual fundraising event, now in its sixth year, has become a reliably starry and glamorous affair — a West Coast rival to New York's Met Gala. This year's edition will take place on the evening of Oct. 17 in Los Angeles.

3 days ago in Entertainment, Music

Marc Anthony, Chayanne and more to play benefit concert for Venezuela and Colombia earthquake relief

Latin music stars Marc Anthony, Luis Fonsi, Chayanne, Feid, Jay Wheeler and many more will perform at an international benefit concert livestreamed from Miami on Sunday to raise money for those impacted by devastating earthquakes in Venezuela and Colombia.

4 days ago in Entertainment

Ultrarare Nintendo Mario game cartridges discovered in Wisconsin

A few years ago, a pop culture store owner in Wisconsin mentioned to Jason Ganos, a well-known Nintendo game collector, that he had a box of Super Mario cartridges that had been sitting in storage for years. It stopped Ganos in his tracks.

4 days ago in National, Trending

Looking to see the solar eclipse from North America? Here’s where and when to catch a sliver

Sorry, North America. After winning the cosmic lottery with a pair of coast-to-coast total solar eclipses, now it's Europe's turn. But look skyward anyway Wednesday and, if you're far enough north in the U.S. and Canada, you might savor a partial eclipse as the moon nibbles away at the sun.

Recent Headlines

3 days ago in Sports

Montero, Tigers shut out Guardians without a strikeout, a first in MLB since 2014

Keider Montero pitched three-hit ball into the seventh inning and the Detroit Tigers blanked the Cleveland Guardians 3-0 on Thursday despite failing to record a strikeout.

3 days ago in Lifestyle, Trending

Winning ticket for $1 billion Powerball jackpot was sold in Illinois

A Powerball ticket sold at a gas station in western Illinois was the sole winner of the $1 billion jackpot, ending a three-month drought without a top-prize victor.

3 days ago in Sports

Chicago Bears could merge 2 sites for potential stadium in northwest Indiana

The Chicago Bears have at least one viable site for a new stadium in northwest Indiana and they are examining a second location as they move closer to finalizing a place for their new home.

3 days ago in Entertainment

Film academy to honor Colman Domingo, Charlize Theron and John Carpenter at museum gala

Actors Colman Domingo, Charlize Theron and filmmaker John Carpenter are set to be honored at the Academy Museum Gala this fall. The red carpet for the annual fundraising event, now in its sixth year, has become a reliably starry and glamorous affair — a West Coast rival to New York's Met Gala. This year's edition will take place on the evening of Oct. 17 in Los Angeles.

3 days ago in Entertainment, Music

Marc Anthony, Chayanne and more to play benefit concert for Venezuela and Colombia earthquake relief

Latin music stars Marc Anthony, Luis Fonsi, Chayanne, Feid, Jay Wheeler and many more will perform at an international benefit concert livestreamed from Miami on Sunday to raise money for those impacted by devastating earthquakes in Venezuela and Colombia.