Doug

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The Scoop for April 9, 2020

Dr. Fauci was addressing the question of, what will things look like once we get back to quote/unquote ‘normal’. And he said there are a lot of things we shouldn’t be doing ever again. Like going out in public with a fever, going to work sick, and sending our kids to school sick. But then he dropped this one.
“Don’t ever shake hands again”.
So much for my new Super Secret Super Cool Quarantine Free High Five/Hand Shake combo I’ve been working on for two weeks solid now. It was going to be awesome. Two balloons and a pot holder were involved, but whatever.


I think country music star Tim McGraw may be getting a little cabin fever. Yesterday he told Faith Hill that he loves her booty.
And you know how we know this? Because their daughter Maggie was doing a selfie video and overheard it.  I get it. You’re cooped up at home, you get a bit restless. You’ve got to do something to pass the time, but man. Your daughter is right there.


I guess it was only a matter of time, but one of the reporters yesterday asked President Trump if he would consider pardoning Joe Exotic from Tiger King.
“I’ll take a look.”
You know, of all the whack a doodle things going on right now, having the President pardon that guy would be one of the least crazy things to happen in like two months. You know who wouldn’t be happy about that? Carol Baskin. Hey-oooh! (But really, she seems awful.)


Bonus Scoopage:

https://twitter.com/davejorgenson/status/1247950647019872256


Double Bonus Scoopage:

 

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