My favorite army surgeon, Alan Alda, just revealed that he’s been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. But the weird thing is what his first symptom was… Throwing a pillow at his wife. Yeah, apparently he was acting out a dream, which can be a symptom… if that’s the case, if you ever see me eating donuts with a slingshot riding a donkey wearing sunglasses and a glitter vest, it’s time to make an appointment. For me and the donkey.

I’m not saying that the president is a bit out of touch with how the real world of you and I work, but yesterday he said that in order to buy groceries you needed to show a photo ID. I don’t know about you but I’ve never had to show and ID to buy bananas. Then again, he was in Florida and they’re weird down there, so maybe.

Speaking of Florida, a guy was chasing people around a store with a live alligator. Crazy right? But Dana Perino from Fox News put it all in perspective for us. She flat out called the guy an A-hole. And you thought there was no truth in media.

Bonus Scoopage:
There’s a “Fantasy Island” movie is the works. The original show ran for seven seasons on ABC from 1977 to 1984, and starred Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize. . . who are both no longer with us. Just please, please, please don’t mess this up.