The President reminds us of his healthy endowments; The Nature Boy is back at it; Machette might be taking a stab at Tom Cruise; Ozzy’s eyesight is apparently as bad as his judgement…

Bonus Scoopage: Apparently Mario is out of a job. Nintendo has revealed that Mario, is no longer a plumber. The news came in an update to Mario’s official character profile on the Japanese Nintendo website. Before being named, the ‘Mario’ character in Donkey Kong was considered a carpenter by the game makers and it was only with Mario Bros that he was reassigned as a plumber because the game was largely set underground. Nintendo wished Mario luck on all his future endeavors.